Ranch (for DHL)

Ranch (for DHL)

For a time we three slept up on
Wolf Mountain Bert Frieda and I
We took the trail past Susan the Cow
And the field of black-eyed susans
Waiting til the sun set over New Mexico
Til we could take off our clothes
Keep warm together with friction
Bert loved my alabaster buttocks
Or so I felt as his broad hand pressed
There when Frieda and I missionaried
On the hard bed til it was Bertie's turn
They swore me to secrecy hell it was
1923  the year my Mom was born
Menage wasn't even a word well
Not one to go in an English writer's bio
No way so we smoked weed and laughed
Instead until we drove to Lake Chapala
Which Bert said looked milky with sperm
All the way down in Mexico


A tribute to D. H. Lawrence
Jack, Xmas '12

Merry Xmas Dad

Merry Xmas Dad

You might have lived to be a century
Smiling at balloons sucking candy
Stroking your yellow cats
Filled with patriotism and not even
Missing the holidays of your past
Not even knowing Christmas Eve
From the Day of the Dead
You struggle up the stairs to your bed
Are you preparing for your eternity
Fetal position how many hours each
Day curled up in oblivion
Your wife hates you resents
Your long life and if you know
Anything through the haze that is it
She accuses you of making a Hell
Of her disappointing life
Do you recall in your dementia
That we are estranged that not since
We played chess half a century ago
Has there been anything but false pleasantry
Between us no understanding
No communication no rapport 
Instead silly jokes over fish
We sat in a swing on Tybee beach
And compared biceps whatever summer
You ambled over the sand as your wife
Let the sea breeze give her a shining
Moment in the sun
What has our life meant to you
The failed law practice
The failed first marriage of twenty years
What women still emerge in the mist 
Of your mind what joys recalling
My brother and me wrestling with you
On hardwood floors
Dad I remember your beard
Like sandpaper when you held me as a child
How proud I once was of you
Standing in your officer's uniform
Taking my mother out
Swiveling in your Colonial office chair
Under a gold clock ticking away
Your life of pretense
Why don't I love you old man
Was it your dishonesty your politics
Your doting on your second wife
Whose dreams never came to be
Who came to find emptiness and burden 
In your existence no matter your devotion
Who grew disillusioned as I did
With who you pretended to be
Your dying days bring me sadness
Though you jerk from childish joy
To belligerence over a simple word
You are alien to me though you
Conjure images from my youth
Confused like driving a car for the
First time unable to make the machine
Go where I want that is how my feelings
For you are off the path
For something of you must be mine
At best I forgive you for the alienation
Were you clear of mind I'd ask yours
For me for my inattention and lack
Of concern for you for you are now
A man without love from anyone
Unwashed unfed frail skeleton of a man
Loved only if at all by my kind brother
Ever friend to the downtrodden
Farewell Dad this Xmas Eve
We shall not meet again mind to mind
This Lifetime 

Almost Anger

Write about anger you said

You who are always 

Almost my lover

Almost aroused by an image

On your Laptop

Almost a singer in nightclubs

Of your dark moods

Almost a man almost

Almost wanting me

Almost wanting me to leave you

As my emotions overflow and ebb

Almost like the sea

Flowing unlike my desire

That night we bathed ourselves

Almost together in a baptism

Of holy Beat holiness

Almost Ginsberg and Cassady

Almost a monkey and a pig 

In a house that was almost yours

The best I can muster my love is 

Almost Anger because Anger is 

Only possible when it is possible

To give you unadulterated joy

Jack 12-17-12

Milkyway Haiku

Stars blaze winter sky
White Milky Way shimmering
Shines like holy jizz

Orion

Orion

Will you be old friend the last
Name I recall as I stare at the dark
Ascending night in the winter sky
You were with me when my child's
Eye first looked for constellations
You have seen me through all the
Constellations of my life my loves
My one night one year one decade
Lifetime loves a phantasmagoria
Of couplings and sexual surrender
Of hands held and legs spread 
Embraces with fingers through my hair
Mine through theirs your sword piercing 
Consciousness in a cluster of
Mindfulness
In the outback sky of Australia
Before the glaciers of Patagonia
In Copenhagen and the black sands
Of Hawaii in the little round park
Where I climbed trees and waited for
The Milky Way to appear glistening
Sperm of Heaven filling the sky
Flowing to be shared 
With all the dazzling planets of my
Arching firmament


--Jack,  on the eve of the 2012 Solstice 

Come Faithful

Come Faithful

What did it count in your
Existential equation that orgasm
Porn inspired mouth fucking
Shoving your penis with fury
Until the sperm spurted into
Her throat until your jizz
Flowed right out of her nose
Did you bend and kiss her
Come glistening on her lips
Tasting yourself there hold her
In your sweat glistening arms
Console her laugh with her
Laugh at her facefull of come
Tell her you loved her not
Just her mouth or body
Loved her as you loved me
When you held my body
Stroked me ever so gently
And for the first time in your life
Made someone else come

Jack Jameson 11/21/12

Holiday

A Half moon shines midnight
Unevenly through the grove of oaks
Not yet bare holding on to autumn
The way we hold on to expectations
Of holiday cheer at the approach of
Winter Solstice and of all those special
Days we've invented for the pretense
Of warmth and transcendence.

--Jameson 11/20/12

November

Resplendence of November
Fading sunlight highlights
Gold and crimson treetops
As an unexplained mellowness
Transforms fatigue from last night's
Revelries and reveries
Into beatitude

From Whitman

Through me forbidden voices,
Voices of sexes and lusts, voices veiled and I remove the veil,
Voices indecent by me clarified and transfigured.
I do not press my fingers across my mouth,
I keep as delicate around the bowels as around the head and heart,
Copulation is no more rank to me than death is.
I believe in the flesh and the appetites,
Seeing, hearing, feeling, are miracles, and each part and tag of me is a miracle.
Divine am I inside and out, and I make holy whatever I touch or am touched from,
The scent of these armpits aroma finer than prayer,
This head more than churches, bibles, and all the creeds.
If I worship one thing more than another it shall be the spread of my own body, or any part of it....

Song of Myself

By Walt Whitman

http://www.daypoems.net/plainpoems/1900.html

Monju Bosatsu

Monju Bosatsu

In Asia the god of Wisdom is
Monju who brought to Japan
Buddhism and same sex love

Watching the blue blood in my
Vein course its way from my finger
Up my wrist to my arm I think

What wisdom has same sex love
Given me from those who have loved
My mind enough to hold my flesh

Easy enough when I shared youth
The swagger and vim the elan vital
When I married mind and body

Now yet attracted to myself my blood filled
Hand my loins my penis still erect I am
Loved by others for mind alone not flesh

What has a Buddhist deity to offer me
Bodhisattva will you reach out and hold me
As I have come to need or must I relinquish

All Desire even my own love of self
Let go of otherness let go of all the lovers
Who'd have my spirit alone until my breath

Is gone

Storm

How long the sea remains calm
The ocean breeze soothes and cools
Sunlight streams upon us on our beach
Our lives are joys of hours shared
The autumn moon shimmers over our 
Nights
We think we shall be like this forever

Unperceived the ripple begins
Clouds gather quietly darken
As we rest until the waves unresting grow
Until some word some meaningless gesture 
Mistook some glance or pulling away
Some leave-taking brings a rise
In heat as eddies swirl into the pressure

So suddenly grows the storm from peacefulness
We cannot see reality the turbulence the war
Rising in a tempest of emotion of fear
Panic as we fight to find its end only to be
Struck dumb and blown apart as if we never 
Were embraced secure in love
Forces of nature rip us asunder

An autumn storm awes us it leaves us cold
As unexpected damage and brutality unfold

Jack
10/28/12

Pepper Haiku

like cayenne pepper
dashes of  intimacy
nourish our friendship

Naked

Naked

How many nights have you and I wandered these hills
Steep streets that over time grew steeper for you
Talking in the beginning of our love of Neal 
Of Jack of Allen explicating for ourselves the underlying
Meanings of nakedness and trust
Until the dawn when we stripped and began knowing
Nakedness rather than philosophizing it

We partook of existential angst and the loneliness
Simone and Jean Paul knew but managed so well
We too brazenly compared ourselves to our heroes
And loved ourselves for it 
After our walks we championed us to our
Friends our respective worlds taking in plays about
Oscar Wilde and seeing exhibitions of Pablo and Egon 

We came home growing more intimate taking in our
Nakedness in ever deeper ways each day approaching
In a spiral of activities and nights out Leonard Cohen
Gigs and poetry and travel baring more than our bodies 
Our being our psyches our Tao our dreams our souls
Our  spirits our conscious and unconscious our energy
Our song

Until we like Ginsberg at a reading of Howl
Until you commanded and we took off our pants
Until sexuality gave way to something more
A nakedness of two humans merging for a moment
Of no expectations in an embrace that was as radiant
As the dawn we watched together over the ocean
Planet Stars crescent moon and sun aligned as we were

Was it not so were we truly no more than
An old man and a youth lost for a time in our
Own dreams thinking we could create our own 
Reality contrary to that of the society we inhabit
Contrary to our lusts and our limitations
Perhaps so yet whatever that nakedness was
It will continue to connect us no less 

Jack Jameson 10/25/12

Haiku Choke

Mouthing loud complaint
Epileptic squirrel chokes 
As I eat ripe pear

Going

Going

The rain pouring down today
Conjures Hiroshige's bridge
Straight hard lines of water
Bearing down on villagers crossing
Burdened with their stuff of life

What bridge shall I cross
In the spring in Japan
A Zen bridge to my final years
Bridge to caring or indifference
To the vicissitudes of existence

The water washes my memory
Those violent passions past drown
In the rain that falls on my mind
Massaging me like the face of my
Lover pressed against my chest

So many paths pictured woodcuts
Offer me a Tao of my own
For now as I imagine passing
Through forests along lakes
With Shinto shrines to ancestors 

There the spirit world the so-called
Hallucinations of Shamans no less
Perceptions than mine of this rain soaked
Day as I wait out the time to my
Next embrace to my next journey

Jack
10-1-12

Intangible

Intangible

Always it has struck me as so
That time and space are not
Real though they be mindful constructs
Of our imagination as our
Perception is all there is I think
So that when I recall my loves
Lost in the recesses of unreality
Like almost remembered dreams
They exist like mist from the sea
Are no less than robed and sandaled
Genderless people of the past
Walking the streets of Athens and Nara
No less the music of Faure and Satie no less
The Haiku of Dogen and Basho
Not lost in the bulldozing that the contemporary
World does to nature and to humanity
As greed and profit and progress so called
Sweep away the sweet and the sweetbitter
In the quest for material success and
Work that is void of meaning
Like the empty spaces in the ruins
Of the Parthenon the empty space of
Shinto shrines
Time and space are hard illusions
The loves intangible that penetrated us 
Are not 

My Pagan Opinion

My Pagan Opinion

Humans have more to learn in nature
Than nature has to fear in us
There are better ways to get hot
Than tail pipe exhaust and raping the land
There are tribes where there is no war
And individuals relieve tension and fighting
By touch
Touch that gets them warm and hot
Touch that goes to the genitals
Generating warmth that glistens
Bonobo touch in a world of such equality
Such absence of discrimination and exclusivity
Pan would blush with joy and play
His pipes

Lovers

Lovers

You said it years ago "Lovers"
We are lovers like no others
Though we care for each other
Though we are friends
Though we have touched each other
There
With love no one could question
Ours is abnormal
As we like it
Not traditional not the result of mere
Desire
We are lovers for the touch we have
Touch that is weird strange and uneasy
Reinforcing a deeper probe
We fuck each other's mind
We go into each other by another
Route
We sealed our pact the night
You quietly pulled me to you
Taste of whiskey
And kissed me 

Jack 8/12/12

Where Next

Where Next

Much is finished much is yet to begin

The mountain road so lost in fog

Soaked with rain lit by lightning

Became calm in the sunlight as we

Climbed upward to a vista from which

Nothing was clear except distance

A short-lived butterfly its wings spanned

With gold and black patterns stopped

To sip nectar on its path from Far North

To Mexico and beyond how could it go

Such distance in its short life How could I

Go from this mountain trail  to another

Continent crossing more oceans

Going not knowing my identity

Seeking contact with others who 

Give me a fuller sense of humanity

Because ever the empath I absorb distance

Making myself dissolve in an embrace

What Reason tells me lies before

Is seldom so as on each alien shore

Letting go of expectation yields a new face

Heart

Heart

My heart's not weak at all

It is a hard thing small

Blood goes in and blood out

While all the heart ache 

Is merely more memory

This betrayal that death

You may call it doubt

I say with each sad breath

With each love that turns fake

My comfort comes from nothing

As surely mine as no one ever

Was

Haiku

OK Alfred black

Fiddler crab on lava rock

Leaving us tongue claw

Jack
For AC 7/12

Snot

Snot

It is a halcyon morning

Sunlight slants the line of oaks

Touch of breeze stirs my feelings

Of others long gone touching me

Their spirits bring a sneeze

As ancient Athenians predicted

A sneeze of sinus congestion

And when I lift my white handkerchief

To blow my nose the scent of coffee

From Papua New Guinea fills

My senses taking me to the Pacific

Where a Polynesian once made me come

Back from England

Back from England 

England is two states of mind

London energy and Country laze

Both sprinkled daily heavy drizzle

All the more sparkling in sunlight

Boats on rivers everywhere

England is high drama Shakespeare

Stabbing an assassin in Africa

Timon as a homeless man serving shit

Two states of mind 

And both steeped like tea in history

For me it is always sex that fills

Two states of mind

One having one without

Meeting in mutual masturbation

In England quiet and in the dark

What flights of fantasy we enjoy

Crossing in utter discomfort that

Ocean separating Raw America

From cultured pearls overseas

Pearls of two states of mind

Jack --July '12

Another

Another

Another day another orgasm

Beating off the images of imagination

The fantasy hovers about me as I 

Stroke tightening my grip

Jerk faster as your body yields to me

As I feel the entrances to your flesh

As your eyes reflect my eagerness

As I forget that I am not a dog

Sniffing an ass getting up

On my hind legs sticking it in

Uninhibited joy oh release

Quivering until the absurd and the

Ridiculous return

Fantasies gone and there is nothing

Except the mess of life to

Wipe away

Jack 7/13/12

Iceland (to a fellow stranger)

Iceland (to a fellow stranger)

From a Sigur Ros trance visions

Arise from my mind mist-like

The rigid penis of a man 

Forty years my junior

A man not knowing not

Caring what his preference

Might be

Wanting my touch wanting comfort

As vampires and super-heroes

As animated teens from a world

Dream leaped over walls again

And again and neither wine nor

Marijuana diminished the absence

He felt no one else willing to break away

From the entertainment to hold him

Except me

Jack 6/19/12

Talking My Walk

Talking My Walk

Each day I make my walk

Up and down Druid Hills

December decks the walk with grinning

Snowmen whose plastic carrot noses
Breathe no better than mine

As I clomp the asphalt and concrete

Imagining Immanuel Kant

How should I apply his C I

His Categorical Imperative how

Universalize my maxims this sun soaked

December day as I pass

Latinos with ladders and saws

Boys walking their dogs

Women jogging tits bouncing

The porcelain Santa may hold the answer

Beneath his red frock and white beard

He pees into a basin he smiles

As if his exposure itself is a joy

If only he could pee down the chimneys

Of those awaiting their gifts

Of factories spewing smut and slag

Would Kant today go about his walk

Rational and calm contemplating the Noumena

Would he masturbate daily as well

Space Time and Causality dissolving in his climax

Where do I walk if I want to feed the hungry

Stop the Saṃsāra as red with war

As Santa's frock

How should I walk my talk

How should you as the planet

Spins toward doom as avarice

Kills hope as money runs out

As oil drips away and we suffocate

In our own gases

If I carry a sign to city hall

If I vote for a civil rights hero

If I write swoon-worthy poetry

Or an essay published in Time

If I pee down a chimney if I

Make love to another human being

Will it make a difference

Will Kant's philosophy save us

I walk my walk

Up and down Druid Hills

Nod at neighbors who would abhor

My feelings and my world view

Pat the dog that will howl in the yard
All night alone and alienated as a billion

Humans are

Jack

Winter Solstice, 2011

Haiku of a Faun

Imagining you

dark chocolate fine red wine

your scent in my cum

Jack 5/12

Need

Need

We need the air to breathe

The air does not make us needy

The deeper breath we take

The stronger we are

Jack 5/12

Spittle and Blather

Spittle and Blather

Have you ever encountered a gaggle

Young mothers pushing their offsprings' 

Strollers postulating the joys babies

Bring lifting them to show 

But seeing just their own 

Baby reaching out its tiny finger

As piercing screech of a blue-throated macaw

Erupts startling need crying out its existence

Upon these crawling creatures 

Young mothers project their fantasies

Hopes dreams imaginations of able men

Women one day making them proud proving

Their pride fulfilling what mothers

Married working walking their progeny

Cannot do for themselves

What do you think or feel

Value as you  watch their excited faces

That this is life the meaning we all

Yearn full of passion to gain

Do you see these happy women 

As beauty as joy as comfort

Is their love for these small beings

Ultimate unconditional unassailable

Am I alone in finding my fulfillment

Otherwise in choosing to abort

As I did

Delighting not in what my semen 

Became but in the seed my mind shares

Yet you will point out sweetly to me

That I like them shall one day be

Blather and spittle

Crying out in pain or wonder 

As what life I have departs

Those gathered around 

Will say how sad he has no children

No sons no daughters to bid farewell

If  a few of those who've loved me all these

Years live still

They will bid my drooling mouth

Good bye

You will witness what flights of meaning

I achieved. 

Jack 5/12

Yeux

Yeux

How do you say eyes in French

How do you say eggs

When first I saw you

Cafe in Paris

My desire  hatched

My desire to hold your hand

My desire to fertilize your eggs

Like a cod

Nager dans la mer

Jack 5/20/12
During the eclipse of the Sun

Lake Country Seed

Lake Country Seed 

When I was yet a student lad
First time visiting the Finger Lakes
I hung upside down
From the cabin's playground monkey bars
Naked
You said to me
"You looked like an animal."
You wouldn't have sex with me
That night our host
Offered me more
We unmade his bed
We fucked like animals



Jack -- Revised, 5/3/12

What

What  (Ironic Self-deprecation to Release Tension)

So what the fuck will you say

Old man with a scrap  goatee

You old goat  let us tell you

Death bed nursing home enema bag

Want something to stick in those varicose veins

Come on say something wise

We dare you dare your impudent impotence

Old fag what would you do if we spread our legs

Were you there when Caesar shot across the Rubicon

When they shot Kennedy and Camelot

Fell to Morgan and Modred and Merlin froze

You sat there  a kid in Latin reciting 

They said on the intercom "The President is dead"

What now dry skin can you get it up knowing

They broke your round table

That all your kings and knights are rot

Make us laugh old man jester

Lear's tragic old fool dance

Sing strum a guitar say something deep

So we can like you and your old bone

Like you and your wit whats left of it

Like you because we feel sorry for your 

Feeble attempt to be cool like we are

Young like we are

Hipsters the way we are (Not!)

You can't be our mirror  man

 We are not your masturbation fantasy

Are we are we

Poerm

Poerm: Po-erm Dfn: A poem-like expression using words to convey what is otherwise ineffable, with always an eye on, or other sensory awareness of, Eros. Thanatos may be substituted or play a part as well.

Jack, May Day '12

 

Rain Haiku

Thunder cracks through rain

Gushing as hail pings thin tin

Sun sparks the raindrops

Jack 4/17/12

 

Meeting by the Gulf (with irony)

It is the eve of another jaunt

Down south to New Orleans

Like we been sayin' we'd do

For years

The eve of days together

My mind and yours

Cafe conversations

Late night music

Sparkling Wine

Letting what happens happen

Right

Your body and mine

Or jus' contemplatin'

What might be or not

As the Easy takes hold
Takes hold

Haiku Doggie Style

Joggers intersect

Pups leashed sniff cavort lick

Joggers balk pull split

Jack 3-23-12

Pink

Pink

The white not quite
Full moon drifted up
Among the cloud puffs
Pink like Mimosa blossoms
As she pulled her car to the curb
Let you out
Leaving her angry and hurt
Like suicide
As the darkness came
And more clouds
Advancing with lightning on two
Horizons West and North
Trite
Like the Union Army
Approaching Atlanta
And we sat on the rocking porch
As you came to like
Being queer

Jack

1-7-12

Give Me Shotgun

Give Me Shotgun

Yes there are numberless couples

Happy as horses in hay

Making it every day

Thrilled with their spills

Ignoring the news taking their pills

Lighting up their charcoal grills

Bodies twined fresh and supple

 Regardless spring buds open

Vegetating sex powders us filling

Our noses choking us like fellatio

With daffodils and goldenrod

The throats of birds slaked with worms

Repeat the chirrup of abundance

Eggs encapsulate their existence

Yes I have had my piece my share

If not my fill

Of horses' play of vegetating sex

Of thrilling spills

Choosing rather than coupling solitude

In a world of sap

Preferring to move

You dare me to ride 

Take off on the open road

Your life my life

Merged for a while like fellatio

Be twined fresh and supple

You'll let me drive you say or

Give me shotgun

Jack, 1st day of spring, 2012

Drunk in the Morning (St. Patrick's Day)

Drunk in the Morning (St. Patrick's Day)

Squares fill with eager faces

Children wearing green their hands

Holding clover

Their parents gather 'round them

Friends all waiting 

For the long long long 

Parade redcoats with piccolos

Masons with rubies stuck to their bellies

Now and then a ramshackle float

But mostly military troops

And tanks and

High school bands with high stepping

Majorettes avoiding the feces

Of green dyed goats

We make our way through

Throngs large red plastic cups of brew

Sloshing as we walk entranced

To the Green River

To where crowds congregate as if

Waiting for the Coming of the Saint

Of Patrick himself green gowned

Shepherd's crook in hand

Come to chase our green snakes 

Away to punish us for letting reptiles

Loose as someone yells

To the girl in green beads and halter top

High on her riverfront balcony

Show us your tits.

Jack

3/17/12